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Col Cad...Mutant...Extraordinaire

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 The Time God Decided to Create Animals...
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A little holiday fun, starting with Genesis 1:20-24:

20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” … 24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.

… and until now, that was the only explanation for the creation of animals. But a couple of years back, a group of people got together and delved into the nuts and bolts of the heavenly thinking behind it all, and what they discovered will amaze you!

God creating kittens:

God: Make them really fluffy and adorable like little furry hugs.

Angel: That’s so swee …

God: And put razor blades on their feet.

God creating bees:

God: Put a needle on its butt.

Angel: Come on, God, wha …

God: Make its puke delicious.

Angel: WTF?!?!

There’s more … much, much more ...

God creating snakes:

God: How about a sock that’s angry all the time?

God creating turkeys:

God: Make it like a shitty brown peacock.

Angel: Anything else?

God: Hang a nut-sack on its face. LOL.

God creating hippos:

God: How about a fat horse that’s always trying to sneak up on you in a pool?

God creating octopus:

God: Give it eight super strong arms and hands

Angel: Uh, we’re out of bones.

God: Eight weird floppy arms with suction cup things.

God creating chihuahuas:

God: How about a big, nervous wall-eyed rat?

Head to the link to learn about the thinking process behind even more animals … or share your own theories in the comments.



Conservative Christian Coalition for Perfection

Post 11/27/17 12:00am
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This is outstanding laugh.gif
Pray - "To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.”
Post 11/27/17 07:07am
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