Bookmark and Share jokes    Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4 ... 78, 79, 80  Next
Last Thread | Next Thread  >

Post new topic Reply to topic
Life of Debauchery .com > Humor

Fenris
Howling at the moon


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 5773
Age: 50
Location: no man's land

 
 Reply with quote  

laugh.gif
Post 12/19/06 02:32am
 View users profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger

Paddler
C\\\'mon in!


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 2207
Age: 74
Location: LYH

 
 Reply with quote  

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.

The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87 year old said "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want 5 loaves.

She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard"

He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this shit but me."
Post 12/19/06 07:55am
 View users profile Send private message

MBJ
Laughing


Joined: 12 Mar 2003
Posts: 12773
Age: 115


 
 Reply with quote  

laugh.gif
Post 12/19/06 11:26am
 View users profile Send private message

LuLu
So?


Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 5269
Location: Southern California

 
 Reply with quote  

Cute.. laugh.gif
Post 12/19/06 11:27am
 View users profile Send private message

riddick
No Salvation
No Salvation


Joined: 04 Dec 2006
Posts: 1037


 
 Reply with quote  

laugh.gif
Post 12/19/06 02:48pm
 View users profile Send private message

superking
Gentilely sober


Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 15050
Age: 70
Location: Leicestershire, UK

 
 Reply with quote  

Better get me some....
Post 12/19/06 03:55pm
 View users profile Send private message

LuLu
So?


Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 5269
Location: Southern California

 
 Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by superking
Better get me some....



six loaves??? surprised.gif
Post 12/19/06 04:03pm
 View users profile Send private message

superking
Gentilely sober


Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 15050
Age: 70
Location: Leicestershire, UK

 
 Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by LuLu
quote:
Originally posted by superking
Better get me some....



six loaves??? surprised.gif
Do you deliver?
Post 12/19/06 04:08pm
 View users profile Send private message

LuLu
So?


Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 5269
Location: Southern California

 
 Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by superking
quote:
Originally posted by LuLu
quote:
Originally posted by superking
Better get me some....



six loaves??? surprised.gif
Do you deliver?


Of course I can.....can you?? wink3.gif
Post 12/19/06 04:30pm
 View users profile Send private message

superking
Gentilely sober


Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 15050
Age: 70
Location: Leicestershire, UK

 
 Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by LuLu
quote:
Originally posted by superking
quote:
Originally posted by LuLu
quote:
Originally posted by superking
Better get me some....



six loaves??? surprised.gif
Do you deliver?


Of course I can.....can you?? wink3.gif
..better bring seven. disappointed.gif




laugh.gif
Post 12/19/06 04:37pm
 View users profile Send private message

LuLu
So?


Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 5269
Location: Southern California

 
 Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by superking
quote:
Originally posted by LuLu
quote:
Originally posted by superking
quote:
Originally posted by LuLu
quote:
Originally posted by superking
Better get me some....



six loaves??? surprised.gif
Do you deliver?


Of course I can.....can you?? wink3.gif
..better bring seven. disappointed.gif




laugh.gif



a baker's dozen??? happy4.gif
Post 12/19/06 04:39pm
 View users profile Send private message

superking
Gentilely sober


Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 15050
Age: 70
Location: Leicestershire, UK

 
 Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by LuLu
quote:
Originally posted by superking
quote:
Originally posted by LuLu
quote:
Originally posted by superking
quote:
Originally posted by LuLu
quote:
Originally posted by superking
Better get me some....



six loaves??? surprised.gif
Do you deliver?


Of course I can.....can you?? wink3.gif
..better bring seven. disappointed.gif




laugh.gif



a baker's dozen??? happy4.gif
Ya wanna go twice?
wideeyed.gif
laugh.gif
Post 12/19/06 04:45pm
 View users profile Send private message

rugbyprop
Above Progressive Thinking


Joined: 31 Mar 2003
Posts: 18029
Age: 114


 
 Reply with quote  

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night, when the wife asks
her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the
road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.

It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we
take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"

He says, "O.K., Get in the car with it."

"Where shall I put it to get it warm?"

He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there.

"But what about the smell?"

"Just hold its nose."

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died
at the scene.

_________________
The only thing more delightful than the sound of little voices is the sheer pleasure derived from not having any fucking kids..............
Post 12/19/06 07:46pm
 View users profile Send private message

Fenris
Howling at the moon


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 5773
Age: 50
Location: no man's land

 
 Reply with quote  

gotta love it laugh.gif
Post 12/20/06 01:42am
 View users profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger

riddick
No Salvation
No Salvation


Joined: 04 Dec 2006
Posts: 1037


 
 Reply with quote  

How do you know when your wife's dead?

The sex is the same but the washing up doesn't get done
Post 12/20/06 05:02pm
 View users profile Send private message

qpr
POETIC JUSTICE


Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 45008


 
 Reply with quote  

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Post 12/21/06 09:45pm
 View users profile Send private message

Paddler
C\\\'mon in!


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 2207
Age: 74
Location: LYH

 
 Reply with quote  

Rugbyprop, that is terrific! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
===============================

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle." he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates." Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Holiday Season Begins....
Post 12/22/06 02:19pm
 View users profile Send private message

LuLu
So?


Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 5269
Location: Southern California

 
 Reply with quote  

upset.gif

A hunter and his friend were quail hunting early one
cold opening morning. Suddenly, the dogs pointed a large covey still in their roost.
Moving quickly toward the dogs, he removed the safety from his shotgun. As he
was about to bust the covey, his friend alerted him
to a funeral procession passing slowly down the highway.
The hunter quickly turned on his safety, set the
shotgun down, took off his hat, bowed his head and
then closed his eyes in prayer.

His friend was stunned. "Wow, that is the most
thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen you
do. You are indeed the kindest man I have ever
known, and I feel lucky to call you a friend."

The hunter shrugged. "Yeah,........ well......., we
were married for 35 years."
Post 12/28/06 02:03pm
 View users profile Send private message

MBJ
Laughing


Joined: 12 Mar 2003
Posts: 12773
Age: 115


 
 Reply with quote  

laugh.gif laugh.gif @ Both LuLu and Paddlers.
Post 12/28/06 02:11pm
 View users profile Send private message

Paddler
C\\\'mon in!


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 2207
Age: 74
Location: LYH

 
 Reply with quote  

A very self-important college student attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars...We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing..."and," pausing to take another drink of beer...

The senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shithead, what are you doing for the next generation?"

I love being a Senior Citizen.
Post 12/28/06 04:36pm
 View users profile Send private message

Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4 ... 78, 79, 80  Next
  Life of Debauchery .com > Humor Post new topic Reply to topic

All times are GMT - 4 Hours.
The time now is 10/23/17 02:59pm
Forum Jump:
Jump to:  
  Display posts from previous:      

Powered by Wolfbitch. phpBB © 200X | Privacy Policy