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Life of Debauchery .com > Humor

Paddler
C\\\'mon in!


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 2207
Age: 74
Location: LYH

 
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Then it must be water! laugh.gif
Post 12/12/06 03:56pm
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Fenris
Howling at the moon


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 5773
Age: 50
Location: no man's land

 
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Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an
Old man walking with his legs spread apart. One of the students said to
His friend: "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like
That."

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely
Has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree, they decided to ask the old man. They
Approached him and one of the students said to him: "We're medical students
And couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the
Syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said: "I'll tell you, but first you must tell me what you
Think."

One of the students said: "I think it's Petry Syndrome."

The old man said: "You thought.......... But you are wrong."

Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

The old man said: "You thought.......... But you are wrong.

So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?"

The old man said: "I thought it was GAS........... But I was wrong."
Post 12/13/06 11:30am
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DarkPsychic
Supposed Shemale


Joined: 04 Oct 2003
Posts: 3522
Age: 29
Location: Wichita

 
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A man moved to an Antarctica village beacause of his new job. This village had many men, but no women. After a few days, the man started getting horny. He asked his boss, "What do you guys do when you're horny here?"

The man told him, "We have a barrel with a hole in it. Here I'll show it to you." The boss then took him to the hole and told him to put his penis in the hole. The man did. After a few minutes the man took his penis out and was very satisfied.

He told his boss, "Wow! That was really great, I'm going to put my penis in the hole every day of the week!"

"Not Thursdays!" said the boss.

Confused, the man asked, "Why, what's wrong with Thursdays?"

The boss answered, "That's your day to be in the barrel!"

_________________
roses are #FF0000
violets are #0000FF
all my base
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Post 12/13/06 12:31pm
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superking
Gentilely sober


Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 15050
Age: 70
Location: Leicestershire, UK

 
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quote:
Originally posted by DarkPsychic
..... "That's your day to be in the barrel!"
When I was a lad, this story was about a new crewman on a sailing ship!
Post 12/13/06 02:05pm
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tractoris
No Salvation
No Salvation


Joined: 12 Apr 2005
Posts: 27396


 
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^^There was no Antarctica when you were a lad??? laugh.gif







Soooo, on what part of Pangea are you from? grin.gif
Post 12/13/06 02:57pm
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MBJ
Laughing


Joined: 12 Mar 2003
Posts: 12773
Age: 115


 
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Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww. laugh.gif
Post 12/13/06 03:02pm
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Paddler
C\\\'mon in!


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 2207
Age: 74
Location: LYH

 
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quote:
Originally posted by Fenris
The old man said: "I thought it was GAS........... But I was wrong."


laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
Post 12/13/06 04:21pm
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Ubee
cab passenger


Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 4636
Location: in the back of a cab

 
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laugh.gif
Post 12/13/06 06:35pm
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LuLu
So?


Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 5269
Location: Southern California

 
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surprised.gif

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the
block?" Mom says, "No, because the dog is in heat." "What does that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he is in the garage."

The little girl went to the garage and asked "Dad, may I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Susie was in heat, and to come talk to you."

Dad said, " Bring Susie over here" He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear-end with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with NO DOG on the leash.

Dad asked, "Where is Susie?"

The little girl said, "She will be here in a minute, she ran out of gas about halfway down the block and another dog is pushing her home."
Post 12/14/06 01:34pm
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SWB
No Salivation


Joined: 22 Mar 2004
Posts: 11531
Location: bottom left corner, USA

 
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Cute.happy2.gif
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"...when folks are horribly mutilated, I feel it's my job to tell others.
We take our horrible mutilations seriously up in these parts."


"I'm a scientist -I don't believe in anything!" ~Dr. Roger Fleming

"Only sick music makes money today" ~Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
Post 12/14/06 01:39pm
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Paddler
C\\\'mon in!


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 2207
Age: 74
Location: LYH

 
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laugh.gif @ Susie!
Post 12/14/06 04:50pm
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Fenris
Howling at the moon


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 5773
Age: 50
Location: no man's land

 
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laugh.gif
Post 12/15/06 02:11am
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DarkPsychic
Supposed Shemale


Joined: 04 Oct 2003
Posts: 3522
Age: 29
Location: Wichita

 
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The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss
to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack. His choice was a tough one
because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker
who had a family to support. At night the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying
to decide which of his employees he would lay off. Finally he decided, the first
one to come to work tomorrow would be the one. Morning finally comes and the VP
waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive. At 8:55 Mary walks
into the office. "I've got a difficult decision" the VP says, "I either have to
lay you or Jack off." "Oh, jack-off" Mary says, "I've got a headache."

_________________
roses are #FF0000
violets are #0000FF
all my base
are belong to you
Post 12/15/06 04:00am
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Fenris
Howling at the moon


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 5773
Age: 50
Location: no man's land

 
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laugh.gif That made it easier
Post 12/15/06 09:30am
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Paddler
C\\\'mon in!


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 2207
Age: 74
Location: LYH

 
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After 25 years of marriage, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car and sleeping on a sofa bed.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis . surprised.gif
Post 12/18/06 11:49am
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Fenris
Howling at the moon


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 5773
Age: 50
Location: no man's land

 
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laugh.gif
Post 12/18/06 11:52am
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LuLu
So?


Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 5269
Location: Southern California

 
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oh Paddler, that really made me chuckle. Cute....and true! laugh.gif
Post 12/18/06 12:10pm
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LuLu
So?


Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 5269
Location: Southern California

 
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Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The 2005 winners are:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3 Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize that it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Cater pallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.
3. Abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-Nilly, adj. impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. olive-flav ored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.


15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxers.


happy3.gif
Post 12/18/06 01:10pm
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qpr
POETIC JUSTICE


Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 45008


 
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laugh.gif
Post 12/18/06 01:38pm
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riddick
No Salvation
No Salvation


Joined: 04 Dec 2006
Posts: 1037


 
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laugh.gif
Post 12/18/06 03:26pm
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