Joined: 14 Mar 2005
| The Time God Decided to Create Animals...
20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” … 24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.
… and until now, that was the only explanation for the creation of animals. But a couple of years back, a group of people got together and delved into the nuts and bolts of the heavenly thinking behind it all, and what they discovered will amaze you!
God creating kittens:
God: Make them really fluffy and adorable like little furry hugs.
Angel: That’s so swee …
God: And put razor blades on their feet.
God creating bees:
God: Put a needle on its butt.
Angel: Come on, God, wha …
God: Make its puke delicious.
There’s more … much, much more ...
God creating snakes:
God: How about a sock that’s angry all the time?
God creating turkeys:
God: Make it like a shitty brown peacock.
Angel: Anything else?
God: Hang a nut-sack on its face. LOL.
God creating hippos:
God: How about a fat horse that’s always trying to sneak up on you in a pool?
God creating octopus:
God: Give it eight super strong arms and hands
Angel: Uh, we’re out of bones.
God: Eight weird floppy arms with suction cup things.
God creating chihuahuas:
God: How about a big, nervous wall-eyed rat?
Head to the link to learn about the thinking process behind even more animals … or share your own theories in the comments.
A little holiday fun, starting with Genesis 1:20-24:
Conservative Christian Coalition for Perfection